Why does Love become fragmented? When the cracks appear within Love between two people what is the cause?
If Love can be understood then fragmented Love can be repaired. With societal forces of survival, leading to personal emotional dyslexia, personal fragmented disconnection surfaces. The capabilities to form coherent thinking between two people are then lost.
Love is not complex in its deeper intrinsic self. It is a feeling of innate inclusiveness, yet when inclusiveness is eroded, individualism surfaces and two become separate.  If understood, Love can be repaired.
To understand Love is to ask why? And to ask 'why', leads to understanding yourself. However, it is confronting; as you are questioning all your emotional programmed ideologies and, in turn, your current emotional self.
In this context my article 'A Paradigm Shift' may be of assistance. 
.....I haven't got this far in life without asking questions and wondering why......(>)
       
                                                 
          Love becomes fragmented from different influences, however, it is external influences that are the main contributors to one's internal life. In one area, fragmented can be recognised when a loved one disconnects from your loving words; and communicative words become unimportant. It is an emotion of pulling away, reaching towards a different realm and severing the once understanding of past Love between Loved ones.  A Love that was once true and complete            
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          In this instance it is a Loved one’s desire for escape, a different life, a new world and a desire not to feel enclosed. The emotional Love becomes a past remnant and disappears within their present life of change. A change brought on by external societal influences, severing the once emotional connection.            
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
         

"The greatest challenge is to find out who we are…..especially as we are taught to believe in something that is not ourself."

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              ......Ned and Alissa’s relationship is an example of fragmented Love.....              
                                                 
          Ned and Alissa’s relationship was one that combined a connective energy, communication, love and sensuality. They grew together. Their energy together was of togetherness and a need for each other. Alissa was a spirit that combined spirituality with Love and Ned responded to Alissa’s kindness and love with enthusiasm. They became  a match for each other and fell in Love.

Alissa's feelings about love, at this time, were written in a card: "To My Ned. Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. You Ned, were born an individual. Don't die a copy. We came to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          Over time Ned encouraged Alissa to grow in other areas and expand her life. Alissa obtained a job of her choice and expanded her knowledge and experience. Alissa appeared to disassociate from Ned during this time and her giving of herself to Ned seemed to deteriorate. Ned’s inner sensitivity picked up on this change. An unknown cloud was hanging over his relationship with Alissa            
                     
                     
                     
                     
                           
                                                 
         

During the time of Alissa’s growth, and the previous years, Ned found a sense of serenity in life. This inner knowledge and understanding strengthened Ned’s understanding attachment; and life became deeper and more meaningful.

Alissa’s external growth caused her to pull away from Ned and endeavours by Ned to repair a fractured relationship with different communicative methods were not favourably received. Alissa still said she Loved Ned and always will; which Ned found confusing. How could someone still love another while pulling away?

Why does Love in its deepest sense deteriorate to this level? Alissa’s explanation was she had grown and changed into a more rounded woman. Her need, she said, was not solely about giving and pleasing. Ned knew though that life does involve the dual nature of giving to the one you Love, and also: living within the constructs of our society. It is recognising that external novelty is only a temporary excitement and can not be sustainable for inner peace in one's future of happiness depth.

Had Love then diminished through a more diverse knowledge base predominantly assigned for employment processes; where this interest had overtaken emotion? Or had Love diminished through more of an understanding about herself? Each had played a role in Alissa's change. However, it was a 'veneer' change, as the 'Energy of Love,' if recognised, runs deeper within our consciousness and the 'veneer' change is only associated with external novelty. 

The question Alissa also asked herself, and was confronted with, was whether her past giving was more aligned within sexuality and not Love. She began to question this past.

           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          Alissa had been a spiritual sexual woman; open and diverse to experience sexuality in a more profound and deep form. She also used to communicate with the word 'Love' and the giving of Love: Through written and verbal narratives. Her life within, in the past, she stated, was one aligned to Love. Ned now reflected on the obvious present intrusion: "Her emotion had been replaced by external novelty."             
                     
                     
                                           
          After a previous dysfunctional relationship in the past, Alissa had shut down sexually for a number of years and was cautious when she first met Ned. Shutting down was her protective mechanism. Inside however, Alissa's true essence was deep Love combined with spiritual sexuality and pleasure – our intrinsic Realm of true self and Being - which Ned had experienced over time with Alissa.            
                                                 
Early in the relationship Alissa was confronted with a question. As a mature woman now, had she ever had an orgasm?  As the depth of the relationship progressed, Alissa realised her first orgasm was with Ned. Her pleasure zone intensified and her Love for Ned increased.  So intense was her connection with herself and Ned, she was able to achieve continuous orgasms through solely penetration, with no clitoris stimulation.
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
                                                 
          The depth of her arousal was evident through close observation. With Alissa on top she slowly moved up and down on Ned's hardness. With eyes closed, concentrating on the pleasure within her, seeking her pleasure, finding it; it flowed through her whole body and mind. Her eyes closed, her face softened, taking years off her age; a skin so soft; like the purity of child. She moved gently with focus, until she reached the stage of heightened arousal, and the fulfillment she sought.            
                     
                     
                                           
          She stopped, feeling the full length within her. Deep and penetrating. Gentle wimpers escaped from her lips, eyes closed, her body quivered, sending thousands of tingling sensations through her whole body & being. The moment of release, the fluid of arousal and nature moving over Ned's hard erection inside her. It was a moment of delight; life moved to another realm; another state of consciousness. Nature providing it's most profound being - release and pleasure.            
                     
                     
                                                 
         

This continuous connection with Ned enabled her to explore her true feelings, never experienced in this way in the past, and, experience true depth with enjoyment of her inner sexuality. Ned himself was connected with Alissa during these times – she became the Love of his Life. The connection was unique, uncompromising, trusting, communicative, and in its true essence: Giving with the dual nature of sexuality, emotion and the Depth of Love.

With such enlightened connective spirituality and Love for and with Ned, the gradual decline in desires for Ned had naturally become unsettling.

           
                     
                     
                                                 
          Ned knew at the early stages of their relationship, encouraging Alissa to grow and experience life in other areas, could cause a change in their relationship. He was now confronted with this reality. Over a 12 month period he endeavoured to find Alissa’s new inner self through a variety of communicative processes. Some were direct while others were subtle. His desire was to save a relationship that had become fragmented, as well as attempting to adapt Alissa to her new self, and, old self.            
                     
                     
                     
                     
          Ned wanted Alissa to be in touch with her true essence again and combine it with her new self, and for both to grow within, so they still had a future together.            
                                                 
The reality in Ned and Alissa’s case is how new choices in life, and new experiences, can deteriorate Love in a relationship. How new knowledge can manipulate thoughts away from an individual’s consciousness of Being. This external knowledge is part of a society that manipulates thinking to satisfy only the societarian structures - which is a secondary measure to relationship autonomy. Unfortunately this economic broad based reality views emotional self, and Love connectivity, as insignificant.
 
The question must now be asked: Has our society grown to protect individuality as a requirement encompassing personal liberty; entrenched in its desire to continually project only individual rights? Thus so participants in our society can survive in our competitive environment?

Individualism comes at a price: loneliness. Individualism does not provide a belonging, which is an innate desire within us. Belonging and intimacy provides a warmth and desire to our soul which is an integral part of our well-being. Without 'giving,' individuality is a lonely road of 'self-less' emotions.

Without a relationship, or even an inclusive community, we are left with our own canopy of loneliness, ever striving for our liberty, in a world of media promotions of exciteable and materialistic 'expectations'. Expectations that are never fulfilled and excite only more expectations in a visual world of wanton desires that lead to an emptiness within our soul.

 A society that is ever striving for peace through meaningless materialism and instant gratification is a society feeling unbelonging. Personal belonging to our intrinsic divinity of self is profound and meaningful, rather than disconnected spiritualism within a society of disconnected souls.
Our innate natural desire is to feel a belonging with someone spiritually. 
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                           
          Alissa possessed this innate natural desire and projected this towards Ned - spiritually and sensually. Making love to Ned included orally. "I want to make love to your penis Ned." she proclaimed with desire. As Ned laid on his back, a pillow under his head and legs open; Allissa faced him slowly slipped his penis between her lips. Watching the sight unfold before him; instigating a rising of pleasure within his body and overtaking any other thoughts; he grew to hardness with ease and the heights of ecstasy.             
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
         

Alissa's lips, moving ever so gently and slowly up and down his hardness; filled her mouth and slowly entered deeper within her. Their eyes meet, and smiled in unison. She beckoned him to orgasm - the molecules of his emotion. Ned capitulated with an audible grown and with his eyes open, watches Alissa take his seed - a natural state of togetherness. She smiles, continues, until he seeks 'no more!'  within the realm of enlightenment. Removing her mouth from his hardness, she looks up and smiles. "Nice" she says.

           
                     
                                                 
          What Ned and Alissa had is Nature’s way; a way that combines ourselves with the energy of nature. To compromise this with societarian structures and economic advantage is to lessen and deteriorate a life that is pure and natural. When Alissa was primed with external societal knowledge; this short circuited neuron activity in her brain, disconnected her from the emotion of Love, and changed inner emotional chemicals psychosomatically. She was growing into an 'external' person rather than an 'inner' person. She was losing an intrinsic emotional connection with self.            
                     
                     
                     
                                           
 If Alissa (and others) had been nurtured, and had the knowledge to see that her spirituality, Love and sexuality was intrinsic to her Being (before her external experiences) the combination of both her new teachings and knowledge could actually be a part of herself also. Without compromising her connection with Ned, Love would have been sustainable.
                       
                                                 
          This is what is unjust about our society: it has separated sex and Love from the mechanisms of social structure, rather than combining it as an important and coherent contributor.  This fusing together would enable our society to function in a more harmonious way. It would also provide continuity within our life, maintain natural desire between two people, and validate the importance of Love and connection within our society as a contributor to a society that would ultimately provide more mental well-being.            
                     
                     
                                                 
          Stress is also a main contributor to personal and social mental unrest. Alissa’s responsibilities in life had also increased and changed. Her life had become more stressful and this undoubtably also played a part in her change. Under stress, our bodies brake down to fundamental operations of survival, where coherent thinking is replaced by functioning in survival mode only. Under these conditions Alissa’s energy was depleted, her thinking clouded; which left little reserves to devote to Love, Ned and her own emotional self.            
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          Under these conditions, the breakdown of body and soul takes away our feelings and understanding of basic needs for contentment and harmony within ourselves - we are surviving solely under stress.
Our economic structure, predominantly based on monetary policy, is undoubtably causing individual lives to be reduced to survival only - just like Alissa. Souls and inner essence are replaced with nervous energy. How can the emotion of Love survive, grow and flourish under these conditions? It is not possible, and cannot survive under these conditions unless we understand the processes necessary to maintain our emotional connection with self, Love, balance and well-being within our daily lives. Importantly, we must know how we operate as humans.
           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          We as humans are also affected by novelty. Novelty, knowledge and experience, in life, is something we desire, to grow and feel fulfilled, reaching towards wisdom. Alissa was also affected by this; a newness in her life that gave her different pleasures and a sense of growth. This provided her with a knowledge base that gave her a different perspective of contentment within a different realm. Novelty, knowledge and experience move us towards wisdom.            
                     
                     
                     
                     
          Without these advancements we remain the same, never changing, never improving. However, the addictive response cannot replace Love and emotion. Meaning, addictive response is surface related. Like skimming on a layer of ice, never reaching under the surface. The more we 'skim' the more the ice thickens, and harder to break through. A continuing loop of addictive emotion hardwiring our brain and body into believing this is life. But it's not. It's just want and need. Experiences are important contributors to our inner knowledge and to balance with inner peace - if we can stop and think and be aware of this addictive influence and stop it.  As our reality is observer created, we lose sight of our inner self if we are not aware of this change within us. To maintain inner self, we must observe ourselves, our emotions, our reactions. We must question our actions. It is only then we can understand ourselves and why we live the way we do. When we are aware of this we can still feel Love, belonging and successfully combine external knowledge with our inner Being and still maintain Love.            
                                                 
         

If Alissa had the personal knowledge, these changes would have affected her life with Ned in a more positive way - including Ned spiritually in her life. She would have been more aware of the changes within her psychosomatically. She could have monitored this change and kept a balance with her Love for Ned.

The emotion of Love cannot be replaced, it is only archived from the skimmer's addiction:

Emotions are so powerful they are hardwired within the cavities of our brain more substantially than other experiences. Emotions are hard to shake, hard to remove and hard to forget. The only way emotions can diminish is by actively doing other activities. Diminish only though, and not replaced; especially if emotions, like Alissa and Ned had experienced. Which is why Alissa said she still loved Ned.

           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
         

It is important that we all, as individuals in our society, consider the ramifications of our societarian structure on our well-being. It is also important that we question the reality of the life we live within this structure. It is not acceptable to flow with the status quo. It is acceptable to question the status quo and make personal changes that develop Love, well-being and connection for ourselves and those close to us.  It is important to change the way we think, enabling a more harmonious relationship with ourselves and also our partner and family members.

           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          To sustain well-being, we must make an effort to improve lives within the confines of inner well-being rather than economic materialistic gains and narcissistic power and success. To understand that inner spiritual contentment is more important than external growth and that growth, with experience, should only be a contributor towards wisdom in life, rather than a replacement for Love and well-being. Our society is being manipulated within the subservient workplace into believing this society we see is their true calling in life. It is a dictatorial existence based on monetary sustainability and has no relevance to our personal well-being.            
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          As emotions are hardwired psychosomatically, more effectively than other experiences, it is the reason Alissa still feels this Love for Ned. Her shift was due to Alissa embracing other experiences in life that have reduced that emotion of Love. Without nurturing Love, enjoyed external experiences transcend the emotion of Love. Love should not rule our lives solely, however, to sustain a Loving relationship that was once complete, it is necessary to nurture that Love with balance with the outside world.            
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
            Ned eventually left Alissa; for her to consider her future. Eventually he wrote a letter to Alissa.
Click the below link for the letter
             
            In time Alissa wrote back to Ned. Click the below link for the letter
             
                                                 

A balance in life can include other experiences, as long as other experiences do not rule inner lives and become exciteable addictions. Love needs to rule over our lives to maintain sustainability within our Being and soul, and our close relationships. Love cannot be ignored; it needs to flourish, and needs to be the pinnacle of our existence.

Relationship understanding is formulated through personal understanding about intrinsic self. Without knowing intrinisic self and how we respond to self we fall short of the responsibilities associated with a relationship for sustainability. We lead a life alone, without connectivity, ever wanting closeness but unable to quantitatively arrange our emotions around a sustainability of self and relationship equality. Inclusively understanding responsibilities; committment and devotion; inclusive altruism; together with conciliatory and understanding communication, leads to connectivity of individual self and dual relationship success. 

                     
                     
          In conclusion, our society has an unquenchable interest in the external entertainment industry; rather than an interest in furthering a nurturing of our inner self. The entertainment industry requires no effort and is easier. However, it is destroying our inner creativity and destroying relationships with its addictive visual monopoly.            
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
          Our inner powerful self comes from our consciousness: Questions, observation, feelings, subjectivity, intension, emotion, mind, spirit, dream and create. This gives us our own higher reality. The material world is secondary to a mystical experience and consciousness is based on the capabilities and limitations of our mind. When we sit quietly we are able to feel and listen to our body communicating with mind. By continually and addictively seeking external excitement we are lost within the world of someone elses creation - not ours.            
                                                 
          Perceive is what we already know, where growth is zero. We see only what we want to believe and if this remains cocooned and narrow we don’t grow. Because society is primed to look externally for influences, looking inside ourselves is confronting and uncomfortable; because it is the unknown, new and uncharted territory. It is easier to observe external enjoyment, than to observe ourselves, and question how we play this game in our society we regard as our reality. To discover the truth about ourselves and who we really are is to observe ourselves, our behaviour and our actions towards this external world. This is the catalyst to finding our true self.            
                     
                     
                                                 
          News, magazines and TV shows create desires that are manufactured from the ideologies of others. Life is being created from the idea of someone else, rather than observing yourself and asking: “What do I really feel, what do I really want, what will make me happy and give me some inner peace?” The answer is not externally, but rather peace within us. This can only be achieved by observing ourselves and looking within and understanding how exterior influences change our behaviour.            
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
         

From childhood we are taught how we should view life, what we should do to survive in our monetory existence. We are not ourselves but rather a product of someone elses directives.

Products can only fill an immediate desire, similar to an addiction. After the high of the desire is gone there is nothing but a desire to keep on filling the addiction of acquiring more. This is the greatest influence on our society and it only feeds the economy and GDP balance. We are continually fed a variety of visual expectations through advertising and the media. This is not an accident; it is deliberate. The economy needs you to buy, and continue to buy as the survival of our economy rests with your spending.  However, It has no bearing on our well-being and prolonged peace of mind. This is why 1 in 4 people are on anti-depressants and anxiety medications and why mental health is deteriorating - a result of our discontented and insecure society.

Our society has become so addicted to the external world and so addicted to the stimulus and response in the external world that the brain is beginning to work out of response instead of out of personal creation. It has stopped asking questions and unconsciously follows outside perceptions. Perceptions that take you away from your reality self.

           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
         

The sub-atomic world within our consciousness responds to our observation. Observation changes realities. Move outside your present state, listen and observe and begin to view life outside your box and within a perspective of creating inner well-being.

Make Love and spiritual connectivity with someone your ultimate natural creative force. Love is inclusiveness, understanding, commitment and being with someone. Love is also intimacy and touch. Love heals and Love gives depth to our lives.

           
                     
                     
                     
                     
                                                 
                                                 
                    What will you do?                    
                                                 
                                       
                                       
                                       
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